Welcome.

Sain Bainuu ! That's "hello" in Mongolian. So glad you dropped in ! This is my blog: The raw, no masks or smoke-screens, bare truth of who I am, what I am learning and where I am in life right now. You don't have to agree with me or like what I'm about...but this is me. Thanks for taking time to read and know who I really am.

October 10, 2011

The Logistics


Day 18. Where to begin. There is so much to share and tell. I’ve been in Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia for almost three weeks now. I’ve met wonderful people, eaten new foods, and had many surprises. I haven’t even gotten lost yet!

More personal stories to follow, but here’s the gist of things to get you oriented:

The food: Think mutton. Lots of mutton. (I rather like it actually). And fat. Sometimes attached to the meat, sometimes just in separate chunks. Also potatoes, noodles, eggs, bell peppers, carrots, apples and onions are common in a lot of dishes. However. In the City (also called Ulaanbaatar or UB), you can find just about anything to eat. I’ve had tacos, pizza, sloppy joe’s , BBQ chicken, salad, milk, yogurt, cheese, and all kinds of other “western foods”. I’m gonna like living here I think.

The cheese: Will be updated on the “Cheese Page” of course! Haha!

The beverages: Milk tea is probably one of the most common drinks besides good old fashioned hot black tea and sugar. Milk tea is simply steamed milk with some sort of black or green tea and salt. It’s pretty good for the most part. I personally have been drinking a lot of hot tea just in general.

Current weather: Well. It’s fall here. It’s been as high as 70F and as low as 30F. Mostly it’s in the 50’s and 40’s I think. I was here for the first snow of the season which made me so so happy! It melted the next day though. UB is almost always sunny it seems, but the smog makes it seem hazy a lot.

The City: UB itself is quite hard to describe. There are modern glass skyscrapers amidst a sea of rectangular flat-roofed Soviet issue apartment buildings. Most are covered in decades of dust, soot and are a little “well worn”. The balconies are mostly covered with windows, making them a sort of three-season room. There are also hundreds of construction projects. Some half built concrete structures are abandoned for lack of funds, others will actually be finished. There are some houses and gers on the outskirts of the city as well. (Gers are the round felt traditional country-side Mongolian homes).

I live in the downtown area of town in a little second story two bedroom apartment. The area around my apartment has some museums, a giant five story department store, the government buildings, a children’s amusement park, a couple live theatres, and countless restaurants, grocery stores, and shops.

Traffic is a little crazy some times! Crossing a four lane street is like playing frogger! There are tons and tons of Toyotas, Hondas, Suzuki’s, and other Japanese cars. Although, some have steering wheels on the left side and some on the right side which may account for the crazy driving!

The fashion here sort of blew me away at first. I would say that almost all the women about 40 or younger in the city, are really stylish. Skinny jeans and leather boots are huge here. As are fancy scarves, sweaters, etc...Very chic and modern. However, most everyone wears neutral colors instead of the constant kaleidoscope of color on my college campus.

The office I work at is really wonderful. It feels like a family among the staff there. Every morning before the office work begins, someone share’s what God has been teaching them recently. It’s probably my favorite part of the day. Then I go off to plan English lessons. Turns out I will be teaching 4 or 5 English classes depending on how many people want to come. My students range from vet students, to the small animal clinic staff, to preschoolers! It’s a lot of work for sure and I have gained a whole new respect for teachers! Once a week I get to help out at the small animal clinic, but I’ll save those stories for the veterinary page.  :)

I hope that gives you a small picture of where I’m living for the next 8 months in any case. I know it’s not the most insightful or interesting of my posts, but it is what it is I guess. I know I wouldn’t be here except for your love and support, so thank you again and again!

August 29, 2011

Just Some Tidbits

22 days. That's barely 3 weeks. And by that time, I'll be on a plane somewhere over the Pacific Ocean. In those 22 days this is what my "To Do" list looks like:

Finish up work on a high note.
Throw a Going-Out-Of-Town-For-A-While Party. (After all, I'm not really going away, I'm just moving locations.)
Say all my "See-You-In-8-Months" to my friends and family. (I'm not gonna lie, I'm going to turn into a sappy emotional mess at times.)
Drive 15 hours by myself back home for a few weeks. (If you see sleep deprived zombie driving a white stick-shift station wagon on I-80...that's me.)
Buy all the extra durable winter wear I'll be needing to start packing. (P.S. - Really good wool socks are 20 bucks a pop! I've never paid so much for socks ever! It's crazy.)
Actually get packed. (Two suitcases at 50 pounds each for 8 months? Yeah...I should be able to handle it.)
Make one of my best friends in FoCo get set up on skype. (Hint, hint. You know who you are!)
Finish the online TEFL (teaching English as a foreign language) course that could take 6 months in 10 days. (Can you say procrastination? I may have dug myself into a hole with this one. Good thing I have over 15 years of procrastination skills to fall back on!)
Finish my 4 applications to veterinary school. (So, not excited about this part...)
Make sure I have all the various travel documents I need printed and on my person. (More complicated than it sounds.)
Find a way to stash some real cheese to make it across the borders. (Ok. I'm not serious about this one, but I wish I could!)
Complete my "art project" that I have been working on for almost a year. (More on this as my departure date grows closer...)
Have some bonding time with my cat. (You only think I'm joking...she's the best foot warmer I know!)
Have some personal moments with Jesus...a lot of them in fact. He's the only one that gets to go with me, so I figure I better get on the same page as Him. Also He's just good for me to be around and I rather enjoy being with Him.

 For me at least, that's a long list of things to do with a lot of different emotions wrapped up in each item. You'd think I'd be stressed or worried or going crazy. I think I will eventually. Right now September 20th seems so far away. I know I have a lot to get done, but I have this assurance that it will all get done eventually and in the proper time. It has yet to sink into my conscious reality that I am about to leave. It didn't sink in that I was going to China until the plane took off! I am leaving my dearest friends and closest community -those my heart longs for and those I call my sisters. I'm departing from my culture and language. I'm setting down my family and security. I temporarily renounce my rights and privileges as an American to become just a servant of the Mongolian people I'll meet. Some of it I don't mind at all...other parts are going to be harder to let go of for a while.

Honestly, I'm not sure why I'm going there. I have no idea what I'll find and how exactly my time will be spent. All I know is God has called me here for this season in life. I don't know why...but He has called me without a doubt. He has a purpose to my time there and as of right now, He alone can see that purpose.

Jesus once compared working for Him to farming. He has called those who follow and love him to be ambassadors...that is to tell others about who he is, his deep sincere love for them, and the amnesty he offers them. Sometimes, being God's ambassador is like tilling up dirt in a corn field that has been hardened, dried, and cracked over a long winter. Sometimes it is like planting seeds in the tilled soil under the hot spring sun- bending and stooping over and over again. Other times it is like watering the seed in the soil and hoping there is enough moisture to make the seed grow. And still other times, the farmer gets to harvest the crops and bring in an abundance of food to the table. All in all...being Jesus' ambassador means most often not getting to see the harvest of the crops...instead you do your work and trust that it will produce something edible in the end.

Why am I going to Mongolia? I really don't know. What's my purpose in being there? If you find out before I do, pass on the word. Will I get to see if I "make a difference" or "leave a mark" on peoples'  lives? I have no idea. Is it worth it? You betcha. Because, wherever God calls me is exactly the best place for me to be. He is a better planner than I am, so I'm leaving the details up to him. He'll make sure seeds are sown where the ground is tilled, that the soil is watered as it needs to be, and that there will be crops to harvest in the end, even if I'm not there to swing the sickle. I am learning to let this truth ruminate in my soul and produce peace within my heart.

P.S. - Good news! I got my visa and vaccinations! So all the major hurdles are cleared...just have the details to finish up now. 
P.P.S. - Anyone know how to get cheese through customs?  :)


July 15, 2011

The Grateful Debt

Lavish  - verb (used with object) : "to expend or give in great amounts or without limit".  

Lavished upon. This is how I feel.  
I have been weeping tonight, for I am utterly overwhelmed.

I am overwhelmed by my own utter unworthiness. This undeserving wretch that I am, is of the most ungrateful, selfish and unfaithful breed.
I am overwhelmed by the overflowing outpouring of generosity that has been lavished upon me. These sacrificial gifts and extravagant love move me in my core.

I wept because I do not deserve such kindness from those I have never met. I wept because I am unworthy to accept the lavish blessings from those who have already given me so much. I wept because I am unfaithful to keep up with those who truly love me - yet even still they love me more. I wept because I so often take blessings for granted. I wept because I know I'll never be able to pay back or earn what has been given to me. I wept because I am so very humbled.

It is mid-July. I am more than fully funded to go to Mongolia. I am filled to the brim and overflowing. I have more than enough. And I am forever indebted.

First to my friends back home: to you who helped raise me, to you who invested in my life, to you who have always encouraged and blessed me, to you who have lavished me through distance and years apart.

Secondly to those of you whom I have never seen and may not meet until we meet upon Heaven's golden streets, to you who felt called to invest and trust in God's work through a girl you don't know.

Thirdly to my friends here in my home in Colorado, to you who have laughed with me, to you who have studied Scripture with me, to you who have sharpened me like iron.

Finally to my family - to you whom I owe more than I owe anyone else on this earth, to you who have showered me and always covered me with love, to you who have prayed for me for 23 years, to you who have sacrificed untiringly and endlessly, to you who know my selfishness, ungratefulness and wretchedness more than anyone else.

To all of you - I cannot say 'thank you' enough to make it mean what my heart feels. I do not deserve you. I am forever indebted to you. My God has blessed me through you. Through you my proud heart is rightly humbled. Because of you my hard ungrateful soul is alive with gratefulness again. I am undeserving and unworthy of you...and you have reminded me of grace again (oh that beautiful undeserved favor and blessing!). No amount of physical gifts could represent what I owe you in my spirit.

The only things I can offer you to express what kind of thanks is in my heart - I ask and pray God's blessing and promises on you regarding your generous gifts:

"and whoever sows generously will also reap generously." - The 2nd book called 'Corinthians', chapter 9, verse 6.

"And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." - The 2nd book called 'Corinthians', chapter 9, verse 8.

"Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of the Lord’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God." -The 2nd book called 'Corinthians', chapter 9, verses 10-12.

These things I pray for you. May God bless you and bring you joy and peace because of your faithfulness to him and because of your love and sacrifices!

I now can say as Paul of the Bible once wrote:
"I have received full payment and have more than enough. I am amply supplied, now that I have received... the gifts you sent. They are a fragrant offering, an acceptable sacrifice, pleasing to God. And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." - The book of Philippians, chapter 4, verses 18-19.

I so here I am. Weeping. Confronted with my unworthiness in comparison to the lavish gifts I have been undeservedly blessed with. I stand gratefully indebted.